A few posts down, but several years ago, I wrote about taking a leap of faith in leaving full-time work to pursue a freelance career. You can read about it here. I'd decided to go freelance because there was a goal of mine I wanted to achieve and felt God leading me to freelance so I'd be able to achieve it. And friends, it was brilliant. Until a few Covid-years later, I found myself back in full-time employment.
For many years now, I felt this consistent tug to leave the copywriting industry and pour my effort, love, time and skills into what it is I really want to do: writing a series of fantasy books. It was the reason I went freelance, so I would have more time to write. That tug has pulled since the age of 23, and eight years on, the tug is still there. It was tugging during my eight years as a copywriter and it only grew and became increasingly difficult to ignore. I remember when I got the offer of full-time employment at the fashion brand I'd applied to. But I also remember, after praying about the role, hearing distinctly: no more than two years, maximum. So, I set myself a two-year clock on 23rd April 2021 when I got the offer and the clock's last tick fell on 28th April 2023 at 5:30pm.
Current position?
I've left and am starting a new.
Trying to squeeze in writing times before and after work, as well as during lunch was challenging. And even though I was technically making movement, I didn't feel as though I was. But maybe I needed those rushed hours to show me how this particular writing process wasn't for me. Maybe it helped pushed me to find a writing process that worked for me, and it didn't involve full-time employment.
So, I took the whole month of May off. No work, no applying for jobs, no distractions. I found myself a book mentor who I already owe so much to for her encouragement, advice and guide pack to help me make my book all it can be. And I've already seen the difference; being able to pour undisturbed time, energy and focus into my book for the entire month has been wonderful. I've fallen in love with the story, the characters and the world all over again, making the book a joy to flesh out and develop.
But where I find myself now is: what do I do next for work? I have the time I wanted, but not the money. And if you know me, you know money is something I care very little for. I sometimes — let's be honest, it's most times — yearn to move to a forest or house on the beach, where capitalism is a little further away, and just live. Live without all the pressures of life and bills etc. But those bills still need to be paid. And for that, I need money. I've been able to put aside a lot so I'm good for a good good little while. I have a few copywriting gigs in the work and I know I can always get more should I need to, but the fact is...I don't want to. I want to be able to write and write and write and firmly shut the copywriting world behind me.
And maybe I will be able to one day.
I know I will one day.
I can't speak for everyone, but I feel like it's common knowledge; if you want to pursue your goals, there's a sacrifice you'll have to pay somewhere.
Like I said, I have the time I wanted to write. That's a good thing. The sacrifice? Not knowing when my next solid pay cheque is coming or where from.
But for now, maybe what I need to focus on is the present. The now. My starting a new right now is unwritten. And it takes place in my every day. I start a new day, every day, with the time that I wanted, and that is a new chance to write. And write. Maybe I should leave what's to come for when it does. And do what I can do in the mean time...which is write. And write. And write some more.
I always tell people (and really do believe) that there will always be work. Life is full of jobs; they're not going anywhere. Especially in the climate we're living in. It might not be a job that you're necessarily used to, but if it pays honestly and allows you to do what it is that you want to do, what's the downside? It's not forever. But just a season.
I should take my own advice (please note: as I'm writing this, I'm reading it back, meditating on it and trying to take my own advice). But, friends, know that I write this with a smile of freedom: I don't regret leaving my old job. I knew that tugging wouldn't disappear until I listened and obliged it. And something tells me that it will keep tugging until I do and complete what it is I'm meant to do.
So, here's to leaving and starting a new, again!
If you find yourself with a consistent tug, because there's something else you're supposed to be doing (and you know it😉), know that I'm encouraging you and am right there with you. Do what's best for you, but I'm there with you all the way. If you find yourself having left a career and starting a new, I wish you all the best blessings in the world and again, am there encouraging and rooting for you. If you've left your career and aren't sure what you're doing next, again, I am right there with you! Know that I'm rooting for you to find your path and hope your path of starting a new will be filled with new discoveries, passions and joy.
☾
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